I have lost my passport. Now I will go neither Snowball, no USA. I can assuage myself that everybody is safe and sound (I watched a film yesterday about people who have lost their family and friends and their suffering, how they were going crazy and doing very strange and scary things and then some of them were recovering). And anyway I will be in USA but much much latter. There is a little hope that I had forgotten it at the party on saturday and I'll find it tonight. But how to survive until this evening. There is hope, and because of it I can not accept the situation. And it does not give me a chance to do something.